As students, we are continuously asked to reflect on our behavior, process, and results. We are repeatedly assessed in diverse manners and receive feedback on our results. This mostly consists of what could be better, why you haven’t gotten a perfect grade (which is rarely given), and what you would do different the next time. I’ve often experienced this focus on the inadequate as an encouragement to work harder, do better, reach higher results. However, this endless search to the better, greater, excelling result has also made me insecure and overworked. When are my results high enough? When will I be pleased with the results I produced? When will it be good enough? Will it ever? And if not, what then? Should I live I distress for not reaching the perfect result all the time?
I’m currently doing my internship at IKON Model Management, a modelling agency based in Amsterdam. My supervisor, and owner of the company is only 24 and has not only established as successful company but is also greatly appreciated in the modelling industry. Even though my internship is focused on the communication aspect of the company, the most valuable thing I learned at IKON is to be pleased. Being pleased with my results, even if it is not what I aimed for. Being pleased with myself, because even though I’m not yet where I want to be, I am exactly where I need to be. I’ve learned this mostly from observing Julia in her daily tasks and having conversation with her. She takes situations as they come, has faith in her own abilities, and is not afraid to speak her mind. Observing this for the past 3 months has been refreshing and thought-provoking and is something I will take along to my further studies.
The modelling industry is a demanding field to work in. The industry is very dynamic, there is not a written guideline of what is right or wrong, and you collaborate very closely with people which is a challenge on its own. Let alone in such an inconsistent industry. You must be sure of yourself when working in creative industries, there is no handbook so if I don’t value my own performance as enough, no one else will either. To be able to gain more confidence in my own abilities, I need to stand still and look not to others but rather to myself, in past, current, and future form. Reflecting on what could be better is something I’ve mastered, so converting that ability to highlight what I’m already good at should very achievable.
This novel mindset is something I aim to maintain in my further studies and career. I do not know where I’m headed, but I’m on the right track since the only way I’m going is forward.