On the first day of my internship at the Global Analytics team at the HEINEKEN Company, I was extremely scared of what was to come. I was plagued with feelings of inadequacy and that I didn’t belong there – I didn’t quite believe that I was actually chosen as an intern until 2 months in. In such a big company, I couldn’t really understand why they would choose an inexperienced student as their intern and, honestly, I applied not even expecting a reply. Nevertheless, I braved on virtually, as unfortunately we were under lockdown still.
These feelings of insecurity took a while to dissipate; I found out that I also had a project management role which I wasn’t expecting within my role, and I found it much less exciting (and less comprehensible – as things in data and analytics often can be to non-tech people) than the communication content I was only partly working on. For a couple months, I was a bit disappointed as well – my supervisor’s coaching style was to give as much freedom as possible which is the opposite of what I feel comfortable with. The biggest problem with it all, however, was my lack of confidence and constant comparing of myself to other people (and especially interns). Instead of solving my issues by voicing my opinion, asking for feedback to quell feelings of inadequacy or taking on new tasks that were more shaped to my interests, I became quiet and just tried to do my best while being frustrated with part of my work.
Then, in April and I became much more interested in my project, as I had the chance to re-build it from the ground up. Having more in-depth knowledge of it made me feel more confident in my tasks, and in turn, I realized that in fact my supervisor gave me freedom because he trusted me and thought I was capable of handling things on my own. From then on, everything started to flow much better: I had been at the company for longer so I naturally had picked up on more information; I started to be involved in different projects with high visibility across the entire company; I helped hire the two following interns, being involved in the CV screening and first interview; and I even asked and GAVE feedback to my supervisor (it was a huge turning point for our work relationship too!). Suddenly, I realized that I was trusted, not just as an intern in the team, but as an actual co-worker. In a team where most people come from technical backgrounds, a communication intern is deemed an expert and I started to believe it as well.
The moral of the story is that these 8 (almost 9!) months that I’ve been at HEINEKEN have not been smooth, but they have taught me so much about my professional self, who I hadn’t met yet. It was a steep learning curve but I went from an extremely self-conscious, self-sabotaging intern to one that feels confident in her role, in her abilities and that now knows the best way for her to succeed. I am so thankful for my team, and the HEINEKEN way of working that trusts interns so much (and also provides us weekly beers and free parties), for making me grow in this (somewhat painful) way but that I know will help me in my future role (which is also at HEINEKEN – I can’t help that I love it there so much!). Everything settles with time, but don’t forget to actively try to change things (unlike I did).