When I decided to spend my last semester back in my home country, I didn’t realize, at the moment, it meant I would be coming back to Eastern Europe.
For those who did not grow up in these countries and are not familiar with the culture and mindset, let me explain. I was fortunate enough to grow up in the capital city as a middle-class child. Almost everybody from my district went to the same kindergarten and elementary school. We had the same doctors and usually spent our summers similarly (camp somewhere in the mountains, week with grandparents in the countryside, and vacation in Croatia). Being exposed to children from different cities was rare, which only helped with the deep-rooted feelings of supremacy over the rest of the country. Being exposed to the same people your entire childhood, and for some people, most of their teenage years often restricted you from growing up outside of the prejudice and beliefs of your social circle. Seeing people of colour outside social media or on holidays was exceptional, and being educated on social issues was a privilege. Due to this being often the only culture you have been exposed to for a prolonged time, one doesn’t even realize all the internalized problematic behaviour.
I realized these differences quite quickly as I used to be a chronically online teenager. Everything I’ve learned about other cultures and problems like oppression or apartheid nations was through social media. Later, this became one of the main motivations to leave the country and to go see the world outside of the comfortable (ignorant) bubble of an Eastern European country. During my studies in Amsterdam, I’ve been confronted with a lot of different cultures and beliefs. I enjoyed thoroughly having the opportunity to learn, people challenging my beliefs, broaden my horizons, and have international friends. I valued my time abroad even more when I moved back to my home country for the internship and realized just how different my perspective is.
Unfortunately, I mistakenly thought a multinational company such as EY would grow out of the prejudice, internalized racism, and superiority complex over certain nations. The number of misguided beliefs, talks during lunch on the verge of racism, and the perception that the political issues of this country are above some other matters, more than once sparked disbelief and anger inside of me. I couldn’t believe people cared more for celebrity gossip or some corrupted politician being shot at rather than thousands of children dying in the Middle East. Because of the bubble most of the country gets to grow up in and live in, ignorance comes almost naturally. I couldn’t get on board with this behaviour and often felt disconnected from people in the office, as I couldn’t bring myself to take the topics seriously during lunch breaks.
It seems I gained more in this internship than just the professional experience. I have learned a great deal and enjoyed it fully. However, it also showed me why I cannot live or work in my home country anymore. My cultural, social, and political beliefs are separated from those of people in this part of Europe. To find a working environment in which I share the values of my colleagues, I will have to once again move to the West.